-
2 years ago
For everyone that wants to know what’s wrong with me and why i wanna go MIA
To my Ex..
I’m still crazy in love with u. i think about u 24/7. When i see ur plane come in. i think about u. When i see ur old plane i think about u. when i see anything that reminds me of u i think about u. As much as i wanna say im happy for u im not. I want u back and all for me, but i know that’s not going to happen. U say u wanna give me back my stuff cancel the phone and stop relying on me to pay the cell phone bill, but still waiting on it. I see u partying and going out with all ur coworkers and friends, yet i don’t think u see that with them paying for ur stuff ur actually using them to get u stuff now. U went from me to spreading ur aloha and having everyone else get u stuff and buy u stuff, but if that’s what u wanna say that they do it cause their ur friends that’s fine. cause they are, but bottom line is ur using them to get u stuff weather u like it or not. U say u wanna support urself and shit and pay me back for everything and cancel this and do that so that we have no connection what so ever, yet ur still pulling my leg and using me and u know it. U say u changing and not going to drink as much anymore and ur a stay home and chill relaxed kind of guy. i wouldn’t see u partying it out and drinking every damn night on ur twitter. So, lier lier pants on fire. and u were the one that taught me that no one can make u do anything unless they have a gun to ur head. so all those im being held hostage or being kidnapped to go out is bull shit.. So figure it out… Cause ur still using everyone and anyone in ur life to get money and what u want. Imp not trying to start shit, but i just cant hold it in anymore and i have to say it. U wanna know whats wrong this is it…
To my best friend,
U say u know me so well, and u will respect my decisions, but today when i was trying to text u and i know ur off and out with red car. U guys are having lunch and doing shit. I really see how u respect my decissions but ignoring me. Ur not even the same person anymore. Uve changed so much and not everything is about u. U of all people should know what i wanna be alone. This is me with my ex all over again and u know it, but the difference is that now days we don’t hang out as much and i do what i want and i don’t really listen to everything everyone has to say. As much as i know ur right and we need to go out and forget about shit. i cant. Imp not like u. i cant drop shit. It takes me a long time to get over shit and u of all people should know who i am and how i am. But whatever. U ignore me all u want till i change my mind about tonight and then u act like evertything is okay and tell me ur excited to come over and bond. when u know u don’t want to cause i hurt u and hide shit from u and casue imp ignoring u. But u know what. IMP ignoreing everyone. I talk only when at work or to my mom… Other than that i don’t talk to anyone. Ive even been ignoring Sis. till he finally got mad and made me talk to him. So stop thinking thatim just ignoring u guys. I was ignoring everyone. Wanna know something, u were right. and i did hide shit and lie to u again. Wanna know why. Cause i don’t need ur face that u give people and i don’t need shit that u always give me and rub it in my face all the time. When u fuck up i say i told u so. tease u alittle and maybe give u a wear face here and there, but i don’t ever give u shit and stuff about it and give u the imp pissed off face. U wanna know why i wanna be MIA with everyone even u. cause i fucked up again and i have enough shit going on. I don’t need u to add more drama to my life and the reason why i don’t tell u shit anymore cause i know u have enough of it on ur own. i listen to ur problems, but i push it to a side after and deal with mine. As much as i want to hang out and be happy. ive been the most depressed person ever in the last 6 months since i finally separated with my ex and u should know that. As much as i never wanted to hang out and be out to forget shit, i couldn’t. everything reminds me of my ex and i have enough shit to deal with. ever since i introduced u to red care all u guys do is talk. I try to ask u for advice and shit, but all u cant tell me is that’s how he is. hes a quiet person. So here it is. U wanna know. yes all ur questions u asked me are true. I slept with Aussie, let Aussie come over and cuddle like 3 times a night cause i cracked okay. And i knew it and i tried to change shit, but it didnt happen . And u today having red car text me back about shit about tonight. just wasn’t cool. U wann say u respect my wished, but don’t understand why i wanna just be MIA and alone and shit. Here it is. cause i know i fucked up and i knew it before u had to say anything. I know i fucked up and shit and i really don’t need u to add shit to it. U say u know me so well and shit but ever since u med red car, u guys have ur own thing going on and ur own language. I try to talk to him, but i don’t know what to say like i said before. I tried to talkto him at the volleyball games, but he ignored me. So what. what the fuck do u want from me. As much as ur my friend and i respect evertything u do. I cant hold it in anymore and i cant bight my toungue.
To red car,
U say u found the one and talk about all this love shit and u finally admit to me that u want me all to urself. Well, to bad. u cant. Think about it. We went to the movies just u and i and we couldn’t even hold a conversation. Ur sol freaken quiet and have nothing to say. I try to talk to u and all we get is short answers. U say u trying to talk to me and get ur time with me, but like i told u before. I like to hang out with groups if i go out. As much as it hurts ut to hang out with other people that are trying to get with me. they cant. Yes i slipped and had sex with Aussie, but u know what. If we could hold a conversation and shit and u got to know me. i can honestly say i would have slept with u too. I told u i was a bad person and look at it know. Imp driving u crazy and u still falling for me till now when u finally give up trying. But how can we even get to know each other if i try to talk to u and all we can do is give each other short answers and we cant even keep a conversation going. What do u want from me. I warned u and told u how i am. As much as imp trying to change its hard and i slip all the time. Go as ur best friend. Best friend will tell u. i fuck up and slip all the time. U think i don’t read all the tweets about me, i do and i know its for me to read. Also when we used to talk u said all iur looking for is friends and i also introduce u to my friends, but u don’t even want to get to know them except for my best friend. So, what. U want friends or not. Cause even though they are my friends and they like me, doesn’t mean u shouldn’t get to know them. Their good people and really nice people to have in ur life, but that’s up to u. So if u still wanna be friends then fine, but seriously imp not looking for a relationship or anything. So do whatever u want, u wanna hate me or talk shit about me or spread rumors then go ahead. Im so over all this drama, not just from u but from everyone
To Aussie,
As much as ur hurting it is my fault. I kept on leading u on and ended up using u and lost control of myself and broke my new years resolution. I should have backed off, but i slipped and cracked and look at u know. As much as i want to be friends i still leave that to u. But i just really hope u know and if u think about it i used u for sex when i finally cracked. As much as i don’t want to admit it. i did. I have no feelings for u and imp not faling for u. I used u and i got what i wanted, even if i wasn’t trying to, but i did. Call me what u want. slut, whore, home wrecker, cunt, whatever i really don’t care. Do whatever u want, but u and all these other people ned to get over me and move on. Like i told u and everyone else um not the right person for any of u. and im not a good person. All i do is hurt people and my ex is right. I do hurt people and i constantly do it on a daily basis. So, Imp just going to keep my distance and let u get over me and maybe if u feel like it we can be friends again.
To CEA Fire,
After reading all this i hope u know how horrible of a person i am and ull come to realize that im not the right person for u. As much as we have a lot of Airline stuff in common. Im not a good person. So please stop falling for me. even if u say u see all the shit i do and ur not going to let it. All i really want is to be ur friend. Good luck with Us Airways and as much as u don’t wanna hear it good luck with my ex.
TO CEA,
though u were my friend, though the shit we talk about was between me and u. What happen to that. and now u act like nothing is wrong with me and u wonder why i don’t text u as much and shit anymore. Well now u know. Why the fuck u gotta spread rumors for and why u gotta hate on people and ignore people when they did nothing wrong. Stop being jelous and join the line of people getting hurt from me. cause ur just another one of them.. I really thought u were my friend and u still text me good morning to wake me up.. hears good advice and im going to tell u this again. get over me and ove on. Im nothing special and im not even wanting anything from u but ur friendship.
To Asshole,
U wanna say im childish fine. do whatever u want and say whatever u want. I was going to start talking to u and work things out before valentines day, but u cant even give me more than 2 days to leave me alone. What the fuck do u want. I treatened u that i would put a warrant on u and ur friends told u to leave me alone, but u insist on coming and trying,.. Stop. U want me to talk to u .well. well to had. i have enough shit going on and ur another person like everyone else above u im talking about. I don’t need ur shit and drama that i get from u. And u of all people should’ve have figured out that i didn’t give u everything back, cause i forgot and i was hoping to work things out, but u kept on fucking pushing and shit. I don’t need more shit from u and i wasn’t ready to fucken talk to u, and u just really kept on persuing it till u finally gave up on valentines day.. Its about FUCKEN TIME. Everything was right infront of ur fucken face yet u still kept on trying to piss me off more.. U really think if u want someone to talk to u, when u keep on pissing them off. I don’t fucken think so. so get over urself
To KOA boy,
Stop trying to hit on me and make me talk to u over skype or web cam and yes ur irritating, but i really don’t care. I have other things to worry about if u cant see. So, stop please. all i want is ur friendship and stop trying to be so creapy. seriously..
To mother,
CALM THE FUCK DOWN. Stop telling me what to do with the puppy and if u don’t like something u do something about it. I cant help it that i work 10 hrs a day and then i try to go out and have some fun. I don’t tell u what to do and how to spend ur money so please stop doing it with me. I know what im doing. especially when it comes to money.
To sister,
STOP MAKING ME BE UR MESSAGER AND THEN GETTING MAD CAUSE I TELL U TO SEND THE SHIT TO MOM AND LET HER LOOK AT IT. AS MUCH AS IT EASIER FOR ME TO JUST SEE IT AND READ IT AND TELL HER. SHE NEEDS TO LEARN TO DO IT ON HER OWN. SHES OLD ENOUGH. IF SHE NEEDS HELP THEN SHE WILL ASK. I WORK 10 HRS AND I DON’T REMEMBER SHIT. U SHOULD KNOW THAT. MY MEMORY SUCKS. SO SEND IT TO MOM AND ILL LET HER KNOW. AND UR ANOTHER ONE. I DON’T TELL U HOW MUCH TO GO OUT AND HOW MUCH MONEY TO SPEND SO PLEASE STOP TELLING ME HOW TO RUN MY LIFE AND WHAT TO DO…
TO my hacker,
U really need to stop hacking into my AOL sn and my twitter. cause its not funny anymore. i keep on getting people asking me if that’s me asking for sex and texting me from my face book trying to get with me cause u asking them for sex and sending all my friends all these bullshit ideas about shit about me. And some of my friends believe me casue they think its u. No that ive changed my SN and password. u still sign in to my AOL messanger account and still do it. When will it stop. seriously.. This is stupid. if u fucken hate me then fine hate me, but don’t hack into my ccount and start talking like im a fucken whore. If u knew me im trying to change and turn my self around and get over my ex and stop sliping and hurting people and sleeping around. Well, not as much anymore, but still. When will u fucken stop, cause i really don’t appreciate any of it and i don’t need more of my friends asking me questions and shit about me wanting to have sex or meet up with them tonight or whenever to have sex with them. this is way out of control especially when im hearing it from my coworkers and everyone else.
FOR THOSE WHO ARE MENTIONED ON THIS. THATS ONLY SOME OF IT. I CAN STILL GO ON,BUT THOSE ARE THE HIGH POINTS…
This is only some and the people that i talk to the most. So, no u know. what else do u want from me. hate me don’t talk to me whatever u want. Do whatever u want. Im so sick and tired of all this bull shit. Im seriously so ready to just pick up and leave and not even tell anyone where i am and where im going to go.. This is why i wanna be alone and MIA. As much as it hurts u or u don’t understand still, just leave it at that. This is not even ¼ of all my problems. so if u think u have more problems and drama and shit then i do. im sorry for bitching, but i cant bite my tougue anymore.. This is me exploding and expressing my feelings. So do what u have to talk shit about me all o have to. spread rumors all u have too. Im hurting so much inside already, its not really going to affect me. Its all on u. U make the call, cause i don’t know what to do anymore. Im done. Im exhausted and burnt out.
Notes
Following
